3 days before our 4 month anniversary babe.. :(
i dont know whats going on right now.
This isnt just another relationship to me, it was the best one i've ever been in. im sad to say its over, and who knows. Maybe breaking up was the best thing for you. or it will be in the long run. Maybe our relationship has made you stronger as a person. Hopefully its had a positive influence on you.
The mini blog i wrote the last time i was on myspace, maybe it had some truth to it.
"I ve been traveling on this road too long
Just trying to find my way back home
The old me is dead and gone.
No more stray,
now im straight,
now I get it,
now I take
Time to think,
before I make
mistakes just for my family’s sake
That part of me left yesterday
the heart of me is strong today
No regrets
im blessed to say
the old me is dead and gone away.
Here i am again, writing on myspace. I cant seem to find a way to hold on to things. Everything slips through my fingers, even when i put all the effort in my soul to hold on to it. Is it destined for me to never be able to hold on to things? Am i at fault for not holding on a little harder? I dont know.
Recently, I've been thinking about every aspect of life. It feels like i know exactly what and what not to do with my life, Just goes to show how naive and ignorant i really am. Is it wrong for me to question myself? Not because i doubt my decisions, but to make sure nothing can go wrong from what i do? I dont like second guessing myself, but, it feels right to make sure its the right thing to do. BUT, one thing i've learned is, make a choice, and let life run its course, think about it, but dont think about it yenno? Make sure you know what youre doing, but dont over think it so that you postpone it or end up changing your mind.
I have no idead what im typing about. Its all a bunch of rubbish spilling out of my head.
To be honest, i'm feeling emotional-ish. I think its these songs, but yea. I dont know. Today was hard. I almost broke a bit. I cant explain this feeling. Maybe i've realized something, and havent even realized i've done so.
Im desperate to live."
Maybe thats true. i cant hold on to things. Or people really important to me. But i wont regret whats happened. We made our choice. Lets see what life does with it. I really hope you dont do anything stupid, or anything unsafe. If you still plan to leave to your brother's, dont go at night like your stubborn self would do..
Be safe.
Im sad that we couldnt talk like this properly. But maybe its best not to even try.
Even though we've broken up, and our friendship might not be the same; what i told you then, still applies, even now.
For you i will.
Just be safe babe, take care of yourself.
Its been a good 4 months. Great. Even with the arguments. I loved every second of it. Just because i got to go through them with you.
